itllbegrand | the US: memories of being a legal alien

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the US: memories of being a legal alien

This is partly a reply to

lacrimosa's question, and also something I've been thinking about for a while.

Before I write anything, I want to point out that I really like the US. I met wonderful people, I want to return some day, and I think it's a nice country. So I have no intention of offending anyone, I'm just writing about my personal impressions and experience.
Saying something is different does not mean it is better or worse. Also, I don't even think the differences are that huge.

The first thing most Europeans notice about the US can be summed up in a short and simple sentence:
Everything is much bigger.
People usually expect to hear something more exciting, and they won't understand until they see it for themselves and invariably express that exact same thought. For example, the first encounter with an American refrigerator is an experience. To European eyes (who, in contrast to a relatively common American idea of Europe, are quite familiar with fridges as such), they are gigantic. They are about twice as big as a standard European one, which starts to make sense when you notice the size of the things inside. When milk is sold by the gallon, you simply need much more room than when it comes in liters.

Then, directing your view from small things to houses and cars, streets and entire cities, the same thing applies. It's probably not very surprising when you consider that the US aren't very densely populated. In comparison to Germany, the US have 26x the space for only 3x as many inhabitants.
So there's not only more room per person, there are also vast open spaces and a nature that makes everything Europe has to offer seem insignificant. The mountains or rocks or canyons or woods we deem impressive would go entirely unnoticed if they were located next to their American counterparts.
But to a small human being without access to a car, it sometimes got quite annoying to not be able to go anywhere without asking for a ride, even to simple things like the mall or the movies. Europe seems more people-sized because things aren't as far apart. Also, I was never able to eat up at American restaurants, and I don't think I could ever consume a gallon of milk before it gets sour.

The size of the US, as well as the geographic location, also lead to one thing foreigners notice very quickly: the US-American culture, no matter how diverse in itself, is unbelievably self-centered. There are only two neighboring countries, one of which isn't all that different, and everything else is far away. While I met many people who were interested in where I came from and the world in general, I have never been to a place where as many people were as unaware of the world around them. I patiently answered countless questions that clearly showed that Non-American equalled lack of civilization in the mind of the speaker. I don't want to preach because my lj friends list is definitely the wrong audience, and I'm well aware that many of you have been to Europe and probably heard more than your share about the lack of basic knowledge of your compatriots, so don't take this personally. I just wanted to say that when you're sixteen and all by yourself in a new country, which happens to have a similar standard of living and be among the world's 5 richest nations, it is quite irritating to be asked again and again if you have ever seen things like electric light or automobiles or apples or grapes, or computers or jeans, or if Hitler is still alive and in power or if you usually wear dirndls and flowers in your hair and yodel all the time (which would be like assuming that all Americans always dress like cowboys). It is a bit strange to keep insisting that we do have cars while hearing they dream of owning a Mercedes or Volkswagen or BMW, and even more to hear they think it impossible to learn a foreign language and/or ask for applause for the two gramatically incorrect sentences in German that they managed to memorize during their 8 years of being in Germany with the US army -- while ignoring completely that English is not your native language, and you still manage to communicate with them quite well. Also, I admired the stoic expression with which an Australian friend of mine accepted compliments on his English (or hints at his "poor" pronunciation).
This lack of interest clashes with the fact that most Americans are very proud of their cultural origins. Most will quickly inform foreigners of the 1/8 of "blood" they may have in common with them. Hm.

This is still quite raw and unedited, I think I'll have more to say sometime later.

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Very interesting! I must agree with your sentiments that the USA is very focused on itself; even though Canada is similar, most Canadians realize that there is the "rest of the world" out there, fortunately. When you're a big country with a relatively small population (and economy) you *have* to realize that you're a small fish in a big pond. Especially when everything you do as a country is overshadowed by Big Brother to the South. (Which is *not* to say that all Americans are culturally inept, for the record!!! Just that I think you'd find proportionately more Canadian citizens that are globally aware than the average American.)

A few weeks ago I was in Seattle, WA, just 2 hours south of Vancouver, B.C. (Canada) Someone asked where I was from and I replied - even though Vancouver, B.C., population 2 million, would logically be the place I was flying from, they assumed I was from Vancouver, Washington, even though it has 1/20th the population of it's Canadian namesake, not to mention the fact that my airplane had a Canadian "name" on the side of it. Just found that funny somehow...

Anyway, thanks for sharing your viewpoint!! :)

Germany is the opposite: a small country with a big population, and we have the same problems... but even the USA are just one nation among many others. I still found it surprising that while people were very quick to tell me how connected they felt to Germany because there great-grandmother was born there, yet couldn't have located it on a map.

Oh, by the way: As soon as you enter any remotely touristic area anywhere in Europe, you start to think that Canada must have a gigantic population: every other tourist wears a Canadian flag on his backpack! Then someone told me that actually, they are Americans in disguise who heard that Canadians have a better reputation and are thus treated better than American tourists. I thought that was quite funny :)
(I have no idea if that tiny flag really makes a difference).

(I have no idea if that tiny flag really makes a difference).

Apparently it does, although I've never donned one. I have however, had people treat me much better when they learned I was Canadian and not American, as have friends of mine.

It makes me wonder what the hell Americans get up to on vacation (assuming this is the reason) to cause people to dislike them so much? Although to be fair, youth and stupidity is universal, and Canadian tourists probably aren't that much better, if at all! ;)

> It makes me wonder what the hell Americans get up to on vacation (assuming this is the reason) to cause people to dislike them so much?

good question.

assumption can seem like a powerful force in the turn of emotion & argument;

people seem to like to criticize "us", while people [from] here go about what they think is simply their business; and people may get fairly emtional in reacting to such business, and their friends might pick up on it, and criticize "us" in turn, and make more assumptions ... hypothetically

in return, "we" might group together and assume some sort of a fighter's stance, then start rabidly-or-not punching back. metaphorically. at least. if even that...

Of the relatively few american folks who can and do visit and tour Europe, I don't see why any of them would be setting-out to start fights or cause any kind of trouble, honestly.

(First of all, I want to say that I know that German tourists can be obnoxious as well. I'm not trying to talk about an "us" or "them" to find out who is better or worse. Also, there is a huge mass of American tourists who go unnoticed because they blend in perfectly and don't cause any trouble at all, but it's the black sheep that stand out and contribute to the idea of a Typical American Tourist)

Of the relatively few american folks who can and do visit and tour Europe, I don't see why any of them would be setting-out to start fights or cause any kind of trouble, honestly.

It is often not so much about conscious attempts at starting fights but about a very open display of intolerance and a feeling of superiority.
For example, while I was in Spain, I met three Americans who were complaining very loudly and rudely about the fact that the elderly, very polite owner of a tiny shop did not speak English. His store wasn't even in one of the tourist areas, and we were in Spain, but these three took this personally and stood on the street yelling their indignation at passersby. How dare he only speak his uncivilized native language in his own country?

This is not an unusual attitude for Americans touring Europe, and so I don't think it is merely about punching back against entirely unjustified prejudices. But of course generalizations are never true or fair.

For example, while I was in Spain, I met three Americans who were complaining very loudly and rudely about the fact that the elderly, very polite owner of a tiny shop did not speak English.

Such a display of conceit is unfortunate, even mildly disturbing to consider. I'm glad to know how rude my countrymen can be, though; a touch of realism.

Now, I wonder how one could put people, like that, in their proverbial places... and if it would seem just as conceited, to even think one should try?

Relatedly or not, I've wondered at what logic there is -- besides the want of money and, maybe, some vapid sense of "let's just get along" -- to how salespersons, here in the states, and wherever else, are expected to "bend over backwards" at even the worst attitudes from customers -- "the customer is always right", as the cliché goes.

It seems, to me, that it would lead to the perpetuation of said bad attitudes, and customers/patrons who may behave like spoiled brats, or worse, "but who am I, to argue with however many business owners desperate for a sale?" ...er what.

But of course generalizations are never true or fair.

Hehehe, I could, but won't, resist pointing out that that statement, itself, seems like a generalization; casually meant.

I remember having lunch at an Italian restaurant in Chicago just after getting off the plane from London (well, after taking the El from O'Hare). I had lasagne and managed to eat about half of it, even though I adore lasange and back in Old Europe I'd eat all of it. I think that the free bread rolls and free water would've done me perfectly well on their own.

Oh, and the Staten Island ferry terminals in New York are (or were) terrible. They looked like how one imagines the Soviet Union circa 1960. I realised that in the world's richest country the public realm is not exactly a high priority.

I don't know about England, but in Germany you are supposed to eat everything on your plate. Old, inherited memories of hunger after the wars or something... it took me quite a while to not feel guilty when I gave up at some point after being served an amount of food that would easily get me through three days.
As my (American) English teacher at university kept saying, "During my first weeks in Germany I kept waiting for them to eat the plate as well".

Berlin's underground stations often aren't very inviting either, even those that weren't quasi-Soviet Union. (While, from what I've heard, underground stations in Moscow are designed like palaces).

That's pretty funny...mostly because it's sad and true.

It's a shame, though, how LJ has become a forum where every opinion had better be clearly disclaimed and apologized for in advance. Your opinions are obviously your own, and just because you're not singing praises for Great American Culture (ha!), doesn't mean they should automatically become marked as "fair game" for flamers and the anally/politically-correct crowd unless you go out of your way to specify that no offense is implied.

Amen. I'm in a peaceful mood tonight, so I ended up posting that disclaimer on top because it is the easy way out, even though I dislike feeling the need to use fool-proof explanations in my own journal.

Then again, people will feel offended anyway. I believe that a while ago, I may have been kicked off someone's friends list because of Germany's anti war policy - even when I consciously decided not to even mention the war (or it was just very strange timing to remove me and simultaneously start an exaggerated Support Our Troops, Everyone Else Is The Enemy series of entries).

Lj also lost much of its charm when everyone started to make their journals friends-only. I've pretty much done the same because I was sick of dealing with a few unfriendly people, but a large part of the fun is gone since there's hardly any friends list fluctuation anymore.

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I once had a dirndl, too, which was handed down to me from a cousin. And, to my mother's embarassment, I loved it.
:)

Out of curiousity, where in Nova Scotia did you travel? (I was born and raised there.) :)

One of the vile things about U.S. mentality is that bigger is better, from cars to wrestling stars to refrigerators to movie theaters. There is little thought given to conservation, so people just keep buying and making money to buy more stuff, bigger and better stuff, such that the U.S. makes up about just 4.5% of the world's population and still accounts for about 45% of the consumption of goods. Only, bigger is not always better, and one day we're going to be buried in the trash we make in our decadence, if we don't meet some other grisly end first.

:)
i liked this entry, especially this:
Europe seems more people-sized because things aren't as far apart.
"people-sized" is such a perfect way to put it. :) that's how Europe (the parts i've seen) struck me, but i never thought to put it that way. that's definitely a major part of what i loved about it, though. driving still feels unnatural to me, and i can't do it-- i'd rather move to a place that's more "people-sized," where i can do my shopping and run my errands and enjoy my surroundings, all in one neighborhood. living in a city, i forget how much of my own state is rural, and kids have to ride school busses over great distances every morning. it seems weird to me, especially after considering this journal entry.

I don't think I could ever consume a gallon of milk before it gets sour.
most people can't. they just throw it away.
:/

so much of this entry makes me want to say, "yes! that's so funny! i've noticed that too!" but because i am an american, it also makes me want to defend my fellow americans. part of me wants to yelp, "but it's not our fault-- we don't learn about the rest of the world in school!" which we don't, not when we're young. at least, i didn't. (not to say that that's not totally our fault.) i took a european history class in high school, but the course was an elective. i only had one history teacher who made his classes memorize and label a map of the world, and he had a reputation for being a "big liberal" who would just do "that sort of thing" to his students just on principle. heh!

but i definitely see where you're coming from. a lot of what you said makes me embarassed, but my fellow americans never cease to embarass me lately. the ones who plaster their cars with "proud to be an american!" bumper stickers are too often the ones who have never even been as far as canada, and have no idea what their pride is/should be/could be/is not based on.

Thanks for answering my question (and wow!) :)

Also, I admired the stoic expression with which an Australian friend of mine accepted compliments on his English (or hints at his "poor" pronunciation).

That is both highly amusing and painful to read.

I do wish that language was more of a factor in American education. I retain a smattering of high school French and Joe and I have some German cds that we listen to in the car. But to have ones mind more attuned to accepting languages as a child would be great.

I just try to do as someone above said about Canada: always keep in mind that I/we aren't alone in the world and our way of life may not always be the best.

Thanks for an interesting read!

Hi, I live in Washington D.C. am self employed and have traveled to Great Britain, France, Germany, Netherlands ect . . .Israel, Central America, Mexico, most of the Caribbean Islands and Canada and most but not all of the continental USA as well as part of Alaska. And I must sadly agree with you that the majority of Americans are quite ignorant of both World Geography and History. Though I am not a Rhodes Scholar I am aware of basic facts 'bout the Planet Earth and its history. So I can relate to the idiotic bull you ran into from my fellow citizens (I do find it hard to believe though that remark/question 'bout Hitler though,mmm...But you mean you don't wear flowers in your hair and drink beer while dancing in those native German outfits that one sees in the encyclopedia under costume's of the world ? ha ha ha, just kidding !). Anyway, I'd love it if you would add me to your friends list and said that I could add you to mine. whatever your answer, take care and remember to Be Good But Not Too Good !!! LOL . . .

First of all: sorry, this reply is really late... I've been a bit silent on lj lately.
I really got that question about Hitler, and couldn't believe it myself really.

Anyway, welcome to my friends list.

Hello.

I'd noticed a comment you'd left in response to one of Lacrimosa's journal entries (http://www.livejournal.com/users/lacrimosa/220386.html). Incidentally, the survey-questions are listed without answers, here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/subluminal/74855.html#cutid1), for cut-and-paste.

> The first thing most Europeans notice about the US can be summed up in a short and simple sentence:
> Everything is much bigger.

As you know and mentioned, the US is on quite a large land-mass here. Generally, we have the room to "stretch out", and we do.

> When milk is sold by the gallon, you simply need much more room than when it comes in liters.

Indeed! The stuff tends to cost less, by the gallon, as well. Which says nothing of how much it might cost to keep a gallon of milk cool, versus one pint or so...

> The size of the US, as well as the geographic location, also lead to one thing foreigners notice very quickly: the US-American culture, no matter how diverse in itself, is unbelievably self-centered. There are only two neighboring countries, one of which isn't all that different, and everything else is far away.

Wonderful. I'll admit that I've not put much concern, into whether other people would think "us" self-centered, though it seems to've been claimed about "us", and I find some sense of regret about the claim. I hadn't noticed that it may be a factor of such non-personal things as geography and the homogeneity of some regional cultures.

(Frankly, Mexico may seem like quite a unique nation unto itself, though. I haven't had the opportunity to spend any time there, yet, myself.)

> While I met many people who were interested in where I came from and the world in general, I have never been to a place where as many people were as unaware of the world around them.

"Eyes to the ground, we trudge through our daily lives, until... whenever, gathering up enough entertainments, in the while, to try to stay sane with."

Some of this may boil down to a matter of brute pragmatism. "I don't have to know who's king of Germany, to get my work done."

I'd call our public schools into question, as well. I remember an impression that people, largely, were settling into a mode of learning just enough to pass the tests. Furthermore, the "learning environments" may have seemed fairly stale to begin with, and the assignments unchallenging, and sometimes plainly tedious.

Fortunately, there were some "advanced placement" courses that our school started, once it had a Junior, "eleventh-grade" class. Those classes were more challenging, and generally more rewarding to actually learn in. The lot seemed fairly removed from "the rest of the school", but there were no repugnant attitudes of pride about it, which I noticed -- just some time in some classes, and some discussion, etc. College, frankly, seemed worse-off than it, but this was only with one local, "community college", in Fresno, California.

To be honest: it's very easy to get by, here, without being terribly bright or well-informed. I suppose that this might not be unique to the U.S. It presents an environment, where it may be such that the most of the genuine challenges one may encounter are from one's own self, alone.

> Most will quickly inform foreigners of the 1/8 of "blood" they may have in common with them.

"Here's to our forefathers, from the old country." or, probably moreso, "Gee, isn't this neet, I'm part German, too!"

Heh. While I was an exchange student in the US, I was in an Advanced Writing class. Interestingly, all our tests were multiple choice :)

It is really easy to get by without any knowledge of the world out there, but a bit more difficult in Europe because everything is so small and close together that it's harder to ignore that there are other languages and cultures out there.

one thing i have noticed about Americans is that they always try to find something in common to talk about, something they feel they will be safe on agreeing on. and when they encounter a foreigner, they start thinking about what they know in common, and get lost, and then blurt out something stupid.

these days i generally pass for American, but in the old days when my accent was a lot more obvious, and people would ask me where i'm from, it would be followed by, "oh, my mother's sister's housecleaning lady's boyfriend is Russian!" and what do you answer to that?

Hehe. Yes, the common ground there is very small and doesn't leave much room for further small talk...

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the US: memories of being a legal alien

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