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Apr. 30th, 2003 03:30 pmFirst of all: Why don't I receive email notifications for comments and replies anymore? Does anyone have the same problem?
I'm very disoriented today. I turned off my alarm clock in the morning, lay back down, and was shocked to see that it was 11:25 when I woke up again. I wanted to get up earlier, and since I recently developed something like a regular sleeping pattern, I was sure I wouldn't wake up much after 10. Oops. I also realize that I'm getting old when I find myself involuntarily agreeing with my father: my teenage years were spent looking annoyed whenever he declared that "when you wake up, the day is as good as over already". Suddenly, I find myself thinking the same thing when it's noon and I'm still in bed without a valid excuse.
Oh wait. I might have one. The night before, I stayed up until 4 a.m. composing a short story for the contest in my favorite magazine that I've wanted to participate in for years. I'd realized that the deadline is on May 2nd, and in an unusual fit of motivation, I sat down and wrote something that I've gone over yesterday and today, thus transforming it into something I actually kind of like. Which does not have to mean much - last year's winning stories, as well as recent literary activity in Germany, often featured slightly eccentric, disturbed characters who do revolting things or fuck around a lot. Mine doesn't fit in.
The hurry in which my story was produced offers me the comfortable situation of blaming it on not having had enough time should I never hear from them again. (Not that I haven't known for 3 months. Ehem.) I try to act like it's no big deal, and I'll rush to the post office now to drop it off. Better to fail than to never have tried, I tell myself, which sounds like a wise and mature thing to say.
Sleeping in involuntarily means that I'm out of touch with time. It's 3:30, dark, and about to rain, and feels like it's much later already. I can't stop thinking that I've forgotten something important. It's driving me insane. I'll catch the train to Berlin tonight, meet a friend and celebrate the beginning of May. I'll even get to dance, which excites me, even though right now the world seems irritatingly unreal and my head feels like it is filled with fluffy marshmallows.
I'm very disoriented today. I turned off my alarm clock in the morning, lay back down, and was shocked to see that it was 11:25 when I woke up again. I wanted to get up earlier, and since I recently developed something like a regular sleeping pattern, I was sure I wouldn't wake up much after 10. Oops. I also realize that I'm getting old when I find myself involuntarily agreeing with my father: my teenage years were spent looking annoyed whenever he declared that "when you wake up, the day is as good as over already". Suddenly, I find myself thinking the same thing when it's noon and I'm still in bed without a valid excuse.
Oh wait. I might have one. The night before, I stayed up until 4 a.m. composing a short story for the contest in my favorite magazine that I've wanted to participate in for years. I'd realized that the deadline is on May 2nd, and in an unusual fit of motivation, I sat down and wrote something that I've gone over yesterday and today, thus transforming it into something I actually kind of like. Which does not have to mean much - last year's winning stories, as well as recent literary activity in Germany, often featured slightly eccentric, disturbed characters who do revolting things or fuck around a lot. Mine doesn't fit in.
The hurry in which my story was produced offers me the comfortable situation of blaming it on not having had enough time should I never hear from them again. (Not that I haven't known for 3 months. Ehem.) I try to act like it's no big deal, and I'll rush to the post office now to drop it off. Better to fail than to never have tried, I tell myself, which sounds like a wise and mature thing to say.
Sleeping in involuntarily means that I'm out of touch with time. It's 3:30, dark, and about to rain, and feels like it's much later already. I can't stop thinking that I've forgotten something important. It's driving me insane. I'll catch the train to Berlin tonight, meet a friend and celebrate the beginning of May. I'll even get to dance, which excites me, even though right now the world seems irritatingly unreal and my head feels like it is filled with fluffy marshmallows.
